Soul

The light is out and i am engulfed in darkness. Only the warm glow of my laptop, the comfort of my bed, and old school Dashboard Confessional (they sold out, i don't care what anyone says) are around. It's hard to keep awake but i feel a desire to write for a moment before slumber.

I am a Buddhism class this semester in an effort to try and expand my knowledge of Eastern Philosophy, though i am partial to the continental train of thought. We have been going on for some class periods now about the non-existence of soul or even holding onto a concept of self. It attaches us to something. For Buddhists according to my readings and classes this is a violation of what one should try and accomplish. For them, there is no soul or permanence in this world. Every second is ending and beginning over and over. It's all about living in the moment. Romantic isn't it?

Well, this doesn't sit well with me. As the title of my blog suggest i am somewhat of a Cartegean. I believe that the only sure thing an individual has is that they exist. Maybe not physically but at least mentally. You are a contemplating, thinking, individual. You have memories, thoughts, hopes, dreams; one could easily say a sense of self, an identity. Why one would ever want to destroy such a marvelous and wonderful thing is beyond me. In fact, i don't know how one could ever deny it. They argue that you can regress into nothingness if you try to identify what you are. You could regress all the way down to being a billion atoms and electrons. You could probably take it even farther and think yourself into who knows what. You can never think yourself out of existence though. To even assume such a thing shows you are a thinking thing.

The soul, to me, gives one a stability and hope that is necessary for not only a happy existence but any degree of improving/learning. Aren't the happiest individuals the ones that "discover" who they are? They come to some sort of realization that only applies to them, enabling them to find independence amidst a galaxy of other objects. To be someone is the greatest potential a thing could ever have, discovering it is the luckiest thing one could gain, fulfilling it is the happiest event that repeats over and over one could ever hope to achieve. Learning from mistakes, expanding one's faculties, and improving ones self is the only possible good situation that can arise from a vast variety of negative outcomes. What a blessing to be who you are. You may not recognize it as a blessing but take a moment and think to yourself. You can only be sure that you exist....that means you are the best, the greatest, the only you. Everything and everyone else is just brushstrokes on the canvas of you. Don't let anyone take that from you, and by anyone i mean you.

I am Jason, No better, No worse. Everything else is shit.