Autumn

There have been a few times since my last post where I have attempted to write something. I would start but quickly lose interest. For some reason I haven't been in the writing mood. Either that or I feel superiorly infererior to my friends who seem to write blogs with such passion and eloquence that I don't even bother trying to compete.

Today though, I shall write. I woke up to a cool blast of air around 6:30 this morning. I always sleep with my window open but the sudden chill in my room forced me awake to shut the window. I quickly snuggled back into my blankets and drifted asleep till my alarm woke me. It wasn't till later, as I was driving to school with my window down, that it dawned on me. That was the gentle kiss of Autumn. The cool lips of Fall had fallen on my sleeping cheek and I was too involved with my blankets and sleep to notice. I apologize.

Fall may still officially be weeks away but there always seems to be a moment when the seasons clash for a brief second, signaling the beginning change from one to the next. I love Autumn. For all the same reasons most people do but because they reflect something different about the world. To most it's about the beautiful leave colors and the cool nights. I love that too. Not simply for the beauty but what the beauty represents. DEATH. Simple, sweet, dreary, magnificent Death. Maybe that makes me morbid, in fact I'm sure it does. Frankly though, I don't really care. Autumn is a testament to the fact that dying can be beautiful. It is beautiful. Perhaps even more than birth. Don't get me wrong, spring is pretty, but it's so.......predictable. Life is bright, beautiful, and full of hope for the future. Possibilities are endless. Death on the other hand is dark, beautiful, and nostalgic.

It is the last few pages of a good book. The plot and conflict have been resolved, the characters are to go on their way. The dwindling pages cause a mixture of feelings, relief, gratitude, misery, reluctance, and reflection. You don't want the story to end but at the same time, it seems appropriate, there is nothing left to do. It is the last dying embers of a brillant fire, the flickering of a dying candel, the lengthening shadows, and the sunset. Death is beautiful.

The most disappointing thing about Death though, is that it's only the end for one individual, one living thing. The rest of the world moves on. No matter how painful, attached, or loved the thing. Time plots on and that is the tragedy. The pain, the memory, the scars, they all fade as life moves along. Each birth, in reality is a tragedy because it masks the beautiful agony of death. Thank God for Autumn. It shows us every year the amazing capacity of one life and for a brief few months we recognize it. Only to forget......with spring. The rise and fall of seasons........like generations is just a brief moment in the pool of eternity and in the end......Does it ever really mean anything once the memory fades?