Restart

No one has really written in their blogs for a while. I thought I'd pick up the slack. Maybe spark something.

For the past week or so I've been swept away late at night by the beautiful melody of my favorite song. I've listened to it way too much. It just feels like it completes me. It's romantic, bitter, nervous, and brutally honest. Not just the lyrics, but the melody. It's amazing to me how music can do that. Some songs catch you perfectly in the moods your in, or maybe a situation. They make it more intense. More real. More raw. This song is more for me though, no matter what mood, what situation, it sweeps me off my feet and drop kicks my heart. I'd rather not disclose what song, I like thinking it's personal. It's unknown and only exists for me. I believe it is.

I want to have a torrid love affair. I want unbridled passion. I want to dive headfirst into something intense with the foreknowledge that it'll will end badly. I want my heart to swell till it bursts. I want it to shatter into billions of pieces. I want a white hot pain to shoot through my body. I want to ache. I want to beg for sleep to overtake my crying. I want to lose all the faith I have in love. I want anguish, depression, and scarring. I want to hit rock bottom and then........

and then I want to find the strength to begin anew.